Sunday, July 8, 2007

Prophet - Kahlil Gibran

I am really sad that i did not read this book earlier. I had this book in my own house for the last couple of months - and i never ever looked at it. Arun always said its a good book.. Maybe, my innate complex pulled me back from reading this one - i dread the prospect of not being able to appreciate things that the vast majority appreciate. I realize it is my lack of knowledge or exposure that makes me indifferent to a lot of the so-called good books and great paintings. Probably thats why i never really attempted to read it..Today being a lazy nice day, i had all the time on earth to read anything that i wanted and this book was right there on our tea table, just waiting to be picked up and read! I started off - from the cover page.. was amused by the fact that it was first published in 1923 and that this print that i had was the 140th reprint! If so many could buy the book, it is atleast worth a try - i figured.

I never knew that i was in for a mind boggling experience - it was like a strike of lightning that struck me.. leaving my thoughts as clear as a crystal.. i found it touch almost every strand of memory that i had.. it blew hard through every lobe of my brain, tickling memories long lost and buried deep within.. i found myself so empty and yet so full, so sad and yet very happy! i felt a peaceful bliss of silence overpower me.. very rarely have i experienced this from a book.. this day is a blessed day... i just love this day..!

From page one, i could find meaning in every line that i read. I am not sure if you have read it..even if you have, i am sure, the emotions and thoughts that it arouse in you would have been different from the ones that ran past my mind this day.. and these are not going to be the thoughts that will rush past if i read it at a later point..

"It is not a garment i cast off this day, but a skin that i tear with my own hands.
Nor is it a thought i leave behind me, but a heart made sweet with hunger and with thirst
"

I was reminded of all those times when it was hard to let go.. the pain of moving on.. of those times when i had to force myself to forget and just live on.. of those times when all i had was false hopes and unkept promises that i clinged on to .. days came and went, in prayers that the reality is all but a bad dream and that i would wake up to a happy day.. Those days are long behind.. still the pain and the deceival linger in my mouth as a bad taste... These lines made me realize how moving on is not just the thought, but detaching oneself from the undesirable derivatives of the thoughts.. it involves freeing ones heart of all the anger, pain and hatred..

"The sea that calls all things unto her calls me and i must embark ."

The call of duty - the call of responsibilities.. what ever be your interest, whatever be the things that you want for yourself or your amily, there are times when nothing is important any more - its sad to see everything just dissolve as if they are unimportant... i see that happen with Arun always.. He wants to spend more time for himself - reading or doing things that he loves to do- things that will quench his never-ending thirst for knowledge.. he wants to sed more time enjoying the weather and all the fun that life has to offer .. but, it is sad to see how the call of duty ties his hands up and locks him down in front of a laptop, staring at the jazzy presentations and excel sheets full of calculations.. it is sad to see that he has to spend his time planning strategies that would not last for a couple of years when he is losing up on the time when he could imbibe things that would last his lifetime.. i am still confused - what is more important ?

"For, to stay, though the hours burn in the night is to freeze and crystallize and be bound in a mould."

To stay on - to be oblivious of the pains of change is the obvious choice of many of us, including me. The inherant inertia compels us to stick on to status quo..even if the change might bring in ultimate happiness. Career changes, new ventures, taking up a new classor hobby, trying things that you are not familiar with - we dread it all. Some of my recent nightmares were - shifting of our house two blocks across, and getting myself a new hair style, getting myself to start going to the gym, start driving lessons, start swimming classes - very silly it might sound...but, to be frank, i had to muster all my emotional strength to cross my inertia. Yet to do is changing my cellular carrier(i have not yet done it, even though that would mean cost savings and better signal) Even when i am not very happy with things going on in my professional side, i am still holding on - not sure for what.. i know it makes me stagnant- with none or very little growth..even then, i just dread taking the plunge and changing my situation.. the very thought of uncertain outcomes and future keeps u tied down.. how true!

And alone and without his nest shall the eagle eagle fly across the sun
it is not unfamiliar grounds or stable water that we can prove our talents. Its those turbulent waters and stormy skies that stretches us beyond what we thought we could rise.. Its that first leap against the wind that makes the difference. That one hard push against the tide that takes you up the stream.. somewhere hidden in all of us is that killer attitude that comes out only when it is tested against hard times.. and rising up to the ocassion during that times, makes a hero..

I don't want to make this any more lengthy. Will stop here.. and continue if in the mood to do so..

Why am i here?

Call me crazy - but, here i am - trying to see if the act of penning my thoughts will give me the releif that daily dairy writing used to give me years back..
I am no writer.. in my teens and early twenties i have tried jotting a poem or two, but with no success..
And after so many years of writing code and now technical writing, my pen has become a bit rusty.. i find it hard to write more than a few lines in my personal emails..!
Given what it is - its going to be a challenge to write regularly..
Compelling my readers to come back here would be the best i can do ..
But, making this a habit is my priority now..

So, i have no promises of pearls of wisdom or innately ornate words or well-strung plot of suspense thrillers or philosophy laden poems...
And no big hopes of making this the best blog you would ever visit..
Even after reading all this, if you have the patience, come along..
Read my musings...
Do drop me a note or two.. atleast to tell me that u were here..and that you intend not to come back :)

Have a great day!

Here I am

In a world where its hard to find people to listen to you, here i am, trying to find some listening ears ..
In a world where there is hardly any time to talk to the next person, here i am, trying to squeeze in some time to express myself..

In world that does not pause to enjoy the subtlities of life, here i am, trying to find the little pleasures of life..
In a world that does not care, here i am, trying to see if i can be a bit more sensitive..